15 Apr 2014

"What A Wonderful World"- Louis Armstrong

All my life I have been shipped around to different opticians who bombard you with glasses the moment you walk through the door.

First you are greeted by the rather over-perky receptionist who flashes you a smile and violently wobbles her head with enough force to shake the thick-rimmed glasses from the end of her nose. "Oh please do take a seat and we will be with you shortly" she tells you while attempting to fix her glasses back on her nose without stabbing herself in the eye for the third time that day.

Then you have to find a seat in the extremely small waiting room. However the only seat left is between two very old and rather...shall we say big women who are currently in the middle of an argument about whose new hair cut is the most "sexiest" and which one is the best "toy boy magnet". Once you are safely settled (or should I say squashed) between them you see that buried within the tangled bird-nest of grey on their heads is their glasses. And at that moment you can't help but wish one of them would turn around and tap you on the arm saying  "Pardon me deary for irrupting but have you seen my glasses? I can't seem to find them anywhere". Oh dear how I would laugh at that!

 And finally when the optician calls your name so quietly you think for a moment you have imagined it until you see the man/women bending over you wearing three pairs of glasses- one on their face, another dangling from a chain around their neck and the third sticking out from their breast pocket. Only in an opticians, you think to yourself.

Then once you have come out of the eye test, adamant that you will not purchase another pair of glasses to add the 500 other pairs that you refuse to wear at home, a women comes over,  pushes you over to the glasses section and starts to hold up different frames beside your face, muttering and smiling to herself. When you leave the shop with one of them stupid plastic bags that rip with the slightly touching containing a pair of "cool" glasses, a spare pair "in case you lose the first", several glasses cases in all different styles because you "just can't decided which one is best" and bottles full of expensive liquid that do everything that water could do but much worse. Then as you walk away you wonder why the lady was smiling and wonder what she was muttering?
She just brainwashed £500 + out of your purse without you even knowing and probably said something like "What a stupid ugly fool" under her breath! THAT'S WHY SHE WAS DAMN WELL SMILING!

So as of yesterday I hold my hands up the brainwashing god and surrender. I will no longer fall into his greedy-glasses-giving-money-taking-hands. This is because I have been saved by another god. He (if he does even exist which I very much doubt he does) has given me the gift of invisible glasses, also known as contact lenses! They are marvellous little things that you just pop in and out of the eyeball whenever you feel like it and nobody suspects a thing. Its my equivalent of the so called dirty little secret!

Now I can actually see things, where before it was all a bit of a colourful foggy blur. The trees no longer look like strange floating blobs of green but giant plants that are made from beautifully rounded diamond shaped leaves that sprout from the branches. Then houses no longer look like blown up cardboard boxes with windows and doors but amazing designs and architecture made from individual bricks that are very slightly different. People in the distance no longer look like skin colour fuzzy trees wearing some kind of materiel to cover their modesty but people....real people with eyes, ears and mouths that I could previously only see when they are a metre from my face. The world is so much brighter and more wonderfully detailed now than before. And the best thing is that people always ask me why I am always smiling and randomly shouting out the writing on signposts but I simply shrug and say "Why aren't you?". 

So just appreciate the fact that what you see when you look out the window is very different from what some people, like me and those who are completely blind, can see. This is a wonderful, beautiful world so please can we just look after it?

Love Beth xx

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